Do You Have A Forgiving Attitude?

Let me say it again. Forgiveness and friendship are two different things that require two different decisions.

Don’t confuse the two.

Second clarification. Please don’t be shocked with what I’m going to say next…

Don’t Rush To Forgive If The Wound Is Grave

When the hurt is very deep, don’t forgive right away.

When someone hurts you deeply, God doesn’t require that you forgive right away. When your husband commits adultery, or when an uncle molests you, or when a friend betrays you…, God doesn’t require that you drive out your feelings of anger “right now”.

Why? Because we’re not robots with push buttons on our chest.

In fact, God knows that we need to get angry for awhile as part of our healing.

By getting angry, we restore our dignity. By getting angry, we love ourselves. By getting angry, we say, “What you did to me was terribly wrong. You violated me.”

I repeat: The process of getting angry (for awhile) is part of your healing.

Anger is like a medicine with an expiration date. Before that expiration date, anger is medicine. After that expiration date, anger becomes poison.

At the right time, God will ask you to surrender your anger.

Which now brings me to our main message for today.

Goal: To Have A Forgiving Attitude

Today, my goal isn’t just to encourage you to forgive those who have wronged you in the past.

Today, my goal is much more ambitious than that.

My goal is to encourage you to develop a forgiving attitude.

Forgiveness is an isolated act. But a forgiving attitude is who you are normally, usually, regularly…

My belief? If you want to be happy in your life, you need to have a forgiving attitude.

Why?

Because you live amidst imperfect people.

You were born into an imperfect family, with imperfect parents, with imperfect siblings.

Announcement: You’re imperfect too! (Unless you happen to be a perfect alien from a perfect planet.)

Everyday, you’ll get hurt. Someone will step on your toe. Someone will stab your back. Someone will kick your behind. Someone will prick your pride. Someone will slander your name.

That’s why Jesus said, Forgive seventy times seven. (Matthew 18:21-22) That number is a Biblical symbol for “forever”.

Believe me, if you don’t have a forgiving attitude, you can’t enjoy any imperfect relationship.

Here was my logic: It’s bad enough that he hurt me once. Why let him hurt me again (and again and again…) by rewinding the tapes of his sin in my mind?

Friend, if someone has hurt you—don’t let that hurt ruin your life. Don’t let a betrayal, or divorce, or adultery, or unfaithfulness destroy your life and your destiny.

Forgive and move on with your life!

Forgiveness means you won’t invest emotional energy to your hurt anymore.

Some people don’t do that.

They like rewinding the tapes. They like reviewing the hurt in their imagination. They like opening an old wound and puncturing it again. And again. And again.

What’s the Solution?

To heal our unforgiving attitude, we must ask, “What is the root of unforgiveness?”

From experience, our inability to forgive others comes from our inability to forgive ourselves. Yes, it can be that simple.

If you don’t receive God’s mercy, you can’t give mercy to others. The Bible says, Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (Colossians 3:13).